D.C.’s Top Google Searches for 2013 Are So Perfectly D.C.

Results show Washingtonians are searching for today’s top news and ways to escape from work.

National Journal
Matt Vasilogambros
Dec. 17, 2013, 5:34 a.m.

If you were to de­scribe Wash­ing­to­ni­ans, how would you do it? Job-fo­cused? News-con­scious? Al­ways search­ing for the latest food trend? Try­ing to find ways to es­cape? At­tempt­ing to keep up with pop cul­ture?

Google’s an­nu­al top search res­ults for Wash­ing­ton fit that de­scrip­tion per­fectly, and hil­ari­ously sep­ar­ate the Dis­trict from the rest of the coun­try.

Just take the top “how to” searches. Here is D.C.’s list:

  • How to Screen­shot?
  • How to Wop?
  • How to Flirt?
  • How to Foot­note?
  • How to Pray?
  • How to Paint?
  • How to Twerk?
  • How to Rap?
  • How to Run?
  • How to Re­lax?

And here’s the top “how to” list for the rest of the coun­try:

  • How to Tie a Tie
  • How to File
  • How to Get a Pass­port
  • How to Blog
  • How to Knit
  • How to Kiss
  • How to Flirt
  • How to Whistle
  • How to Un­jail­break
  • How to Vader

While the rest of the coun­try is won­der­ing how you — yes, you, well-dressed Hill staffer — tie that per­fect double Wind­sor knot, or how you — yes, you, savvy polit­ic­al journ­al­ist — write that hard-hit­ting blog post, you’re fo­cused on oth­er things.

Google, how do I flirt with that lob­by­ist? Google, how to do I pray after selling my soul with the latest Sen­ate vote? Google, how do I run like all those healthy people in Rock Creek Park? And, Google, how in the hell do I re­lax from my stu­pid 14-hour-a-day job?

Or take the top trend­ing “what is” searches. Here is Wash­ing­ton, again:

  • What Is Twerking?
  • What Is Ri­cin?
  • What Is Path?
  • What Is Se­quest­ra­tion?
  • What Is DOMA?
  • What Is Obama­care?
  • What Is CISPA?
  • What Is East­er?
  • What Is Bit­coin?
  • What Is Hum­mus?

And the top “what is” searches for the U.S.:

  • What Is Twerking?
  • What Is Ri­cin?
  • What Is DOMA?
  • What Is Molly?
  • What Is Glu­ten?
  • What Is Se­quest­ra­tion?
  • What Is Obama­care?
  • What Is Lupus?
  • What Is Snapchat?
  • What Is Bit­coin

Al­though these searches fol­low more closely to na­tion­al trends, there are some dif­fer­ences from the av­er­age Wash­ing­to­ni­an and the rest of Amer­ica. Yes, Amer­ic­ans were con­cerned about the rev­el­a­tions from the Ed­ward Snowden leaks about the Na­tion­al Se­cur­ity Agency. But you, seni­or House aide, took the next step and looked up the Cy­ber In­tel­li­gence Shar­ing and Pro­tec­tion Act.

And, ser­i­ously, what ex­actly is hum­mus and why is it so good? Bravo, Geor­getown law stu­dent, for look­ing that up. Now you can serve it at your next party, prac­ti­cing for the many fancy parties you have in your fu­ture.

Oth­er top search cat­egor­ies, such as “top trend­ing events” and “top trend­ing news,” show that Wash­ing­ton is pay­ing at­ten­tion to the big­ger stor­ies of the year, such as the Bo­ston Mara­thon, gov­ern­ment shut­down, in­aug­ur­a­tion, and, of course, this year’s cherry blos­soms.

DCist has more of the top searches for Wash­ing­ton.

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