D.C.’s Top Google Searches for 2013 Are So Perfectly D.C.

Results show Washingtonians are searching for today’s top news and ways to escape from work.

National Journal
Matt Vasilogambros
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Matt Vasilogambros
Dec. 17, 2013, 5:34 a.m.

If you were to de­scribe Wash­ing­to­ni­ans, how would you do it? Job-fo­cused? News-con­scious? Al­ways search­ing for the latest food trend? Try­ing to find ways to es­cape? At­tempt­ing to keep up with pop cul­ture?

Google’s an­nu­al top search res­ults for Wash­ing­ton fit that de­scrip­tion per­fectly, and hil­ari­ously sep­ar­ate the Dis­trict from the rest of the coun­try.

Just take the top “how to” searches. Here is D.C.’s list:

  • How to Screen­shot?
  • How to Wop?
  • How to Flirt?
  • How to Foot­note?
  • How to Pray?
  • How to Paint?
  • How to Twerk?
  • How to Rap?
  • How to Run?
  • How to Re­lax?

And here’s the top “how to” list for the rest of the coun­try:

  • How to Tie a Tie
  • How to File
  • How to Get a Pass­port
  • How to Blog
  • How to Knit
  • How to Kiss
  • How to Flirt
  • How to Whistle
  • How to Un­jail­break
  • How to Vader

While the rest of the coun­try is won­der­ing how you — yes, you, well-dressed Hill staffer — tie that per­fect double Wind­sor knot, or how you — yes, you, savvy polit­ic­al journ­al­ist — write that hard-hit­ting blog post, you’re fo­cused on oth­er things.

Google, how do I flirt with that lob­by­ist? Google, how to do I pray after selling my soul with the latest Sen­ate vote? Google, how do I run like all those healthy people in Rock Creek Park? And, Google, how in the hell do I re­lax from my stu­pid 14-hour-a-day job?

Or take the top trend­ing “what is” searches. Here is Wash­ing­ton, again:

  • What Is Twerking?
  • What Is Ri­cin?
  • What Is Path?
  • What Is Se­quest­ra­tion?
  • What Is DOMA?
  • What Is Obama­care?
  • What Is CISPA?
  • What Is East­er?
  • What Is Bit­coin?
  • What Is Hum­mus?

And the top “what is” searches for the U.S.:

  • What Is Twerking?
  • What Is Ri­cin?
  • What Is DOMA?
  • What Is Molly?
  • What Is Glu­ten?
  • What Is Se­quest­ra­tion?
  • What Is Obama­care?
  • What Is Lupus?
  • What Is Snapchat?
  • What Is Bit­coin

Al­though these searches fol­low more closely to na­tion­al trends, there are some dif­fer­ences from the av­er­age Wash­ing­to­ni­an and the rest of Amer­ica. Yes, Amer­ic­ans were con­cerned about the rev­el­a­tions from the Ed­ward Snowden leaks about the Na­tion­al Se­cur­ity Agency. But you, seni­or House aide, took the next step and looked up the Cy­ber In­tel­li­gence Shar­ing and Pro­tec­tion Act.

And, ser­i­ously, what ex­actly is hum­mus and why is it so good? Bravo, Geor­getown law stu­dent, for look­ing that up. Now you can serve it at your next party, prac­ti­cing for the many fancy parties you have in your fu­ture.

Oth­er top search cat­egor­ies, such as “top trend­ing events” and “top trend­ing news,” show that Wash­ing­ton is pay­ing at­ten­tion to the big­ger stor­ies of the year, such as the Bo­ston Mara­thon, gov­ern­ment shut­down, in­aug­ur­a­tion, and, of course, this year’s cherry blos­soms.

DCist has more of the top searches for Wash­ing­ton.

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