No, Edward Snowden Did Not Blow the Lid Off the Alien Conspiracy

A semi-official Iranian news agency says the leaker’s documents “prove” ETs exist and are running the government. The truth may be out there, but it’s not here.

Space shuttle fan Vivian Robinson rides her bicycle covered in shuttle memorabilia, American flags and a alien doll,outside Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) as she waits to see Space Shuttle Endeavour, in the early morning hours October 12, 2012 in Los Angeles, California.
National Journal
Alex Seitz-Wald
Jan. 13, 2014, 12:27 p.m.

What do Ad­olph Hitler, Ed­ward Snowden, and ex­tra­ter­restri­als have in com­mon?

Who knows. But FARS is a semi-of­fi­cial news agency of the Ir­a­ni­an gov­ern­ment, re­portedly af­fil­i­ated with the Re­volu­tion­ary Guards, which sug­gests that someone in Tehran thinks this new re­port al­leging that Wash­ing­ton is secretly run by a malevol­ent race of ex­tra­ter­restri­als known as “Tall Whites” — who also, by the way, en­gin­eered Hitler’s rise to power — will boost their coun­try’s geo­pol­it­ic­al pos­ture vis a vis the United States.

The FARS re­port, which is al­most en­tirely pla­gi­ar­ized word-for-word from a crack­pot con­spir­acy blog that claims to be the “World’s Largest Eng­lish Lan­guage News Ser­vices,” brings the as­ton­ish­ing rev­el­a­tion that a Rus­si­an se­cur­ity-agency re­port on doc­u­ments leaked by Ed­ward Snowden provides “‘in­con­tro­vert­ible proof’ that an “ali­en/ex­tra­ter­restri­al in­tel­li­gence agenda” is driv­ing U.S. do­mest­ic and in­ter­na­tion­al policy, and has been do­ing so since at least 1945.”

I can’t find any oth­er news re­ports about this al­legedly totally real Rus­si­an FSB re­port on Snowden, and one as­sumes there would at least be some cov­er­age of ar­gu­ably the biggest re­veal of the cen­tury. Snowden says he brought no secret doc­u­ments to Rus­sia, where he is cur­rently liv­ing.

Glenn Gre­en­wald, the journ­al­ist who broke the Snowden story and has spent more time por­ing over his doc­u­ments than per­haps any­one else on this plan­et, splashed cold wa­ter on the FARS re­port, re­spond­ing sar­castic­ally:

@aseitzwald It was the story I was work­ing on next. I was scooped and I’m not happy about it. #Ali­en­Hitler­Link

— Glenn Gre­en­wald (@ggre­en­wald) Janu­ary 13, 2014

The re­port leans heav­ily on a Rus­si­an tele­vi­sion in­ter­view with former Ca­na­dian De­fense Min­is­ter Paul Helly­er, who has made a name for him­self in re­cent years by claim­ing that there are 80 dif­fer­ent spe­cies of ali­ens who walk among us and for warn­ing that George W. Bush was go­ing to “get us in­to an in­ter­galactic war” with some of those spe­cies by build­ing a moon base

FARS has also re­cently re­por­ted that a 27-year-old Ir­a­ni­an man in­ven­ted a time ma­chine and, on the eve of the 2012 elec­tion, that most white rur­al voters in Amer­ica would rather vote for then-Ir­a­ni­an Pres­id­ent Mah­moud Ah­mad­ine­jad than Barack Obama. That lat­ter story came from The Onion.

But at least those bogus stor­ies made some sense for a semi-pro­pa­ganda out­fit — they make Ir­an look good. Why FARS thinks it can help Tehran win the cold war with Wash­ing­ton with such a pat­ently ab­surd story is bey­ond us.

One shot in the dark: Ir­an and in­ter­na­tion­al powers just fi­nal­ized a nuc­le­ar deal, which will go in­to ef­fect later this month. At least this gets people talk­ing about something else.

The truth may be out there, but it’s not here.

What We're Following See More »
BIG CHANGE FROM WHEN HE SELF-FINANCED
Trump Enriching His Businesses with Donor Money
10 hours ago
WHY WE CARE

Donald Trump "nearly quintupled the monthly rent his presidential campaign pays for its headquarters at Trump Tower to $169,758 in July, when he was raising funds from donors, compared with March, when he was self-funding his campaign." A campaign spokesman "said the increased office space was needed to accommodate an anticipated increase in employees," but the campaign's paid staff has actually dipped by about 25 since March. The campaign has also paid his golf courses and restaurants about $260,000 since mid-May.

Source:
STAFF PICKS
Variety Looks at How Michelle Obama Has Leveraged Pop Culture
11 hours ago
WHY WE CARE

“My view is, first you get them to laugh, then you get them to listen," says Michelle Obama in a new profile in Variety. "So I’m always game for a good joke, and I’m not so formal in this role. There’s very little that we can’t do that people wouldn’t appreciate.” According to writer Ted Johnson, Mrs. Obama has leveraged the power of pop culture far beyond her predecessors. "Where are the people?" she asks. "Well, they’re not reading the op-ed pieces in the major newspapers. They’re not watching Sunday morning news talk shows. They’re doing what most people are doing: They are watching TV.”

Source:
QUESTIONS OVER IMMIGRATION POLICY
Trump Cancels Rallies
18 hours ago
THE LATEST

Donald Trump probably isn't taking seriously John Oliver's suggestion that he quit the race. But he has canceled or rescheduled rallies amid questions over his stance on immigration. Trump rescheduled a speech on the topic that he was set to give later this week. Plus, he's also nixed planned rallies in Oregon and Las Vegas this month.

Source:
‘STRATEGY AND MESSAGING’
Sean Hannity Is Also Advising Trump
1 days ago
THE LATEST

Donald Trump's Fox News brain trust keeps growing. After it was revealed that former Fox chief Roger Ailes is informally advising Trump on debate preparation, host Sean Hannity admitted over the weekend that he's also advising Trump on "strategy and messaging." He told the New York Times: “I’m not hiding the fact that I want Donald Trump to be the next president of the United States. I never claimed to be a journalist.”

Source:
THE SHAKE-UP CONTINUES
RNC’s Spicer to Work from Trump HQ
1 days ago
THE LATEST

"Donald Trump's campaign and the Republican party will coordinate more closely going forward, with the GOP's top communicator and chief strategist Sean Spicer increasingly working out of Trump campaign headquarters, the campaign confirmed Sunday."

Source:
×