Rob Ford is a good reminder that, while it’s always bad for a politician to lie to the public, there is great pleasure to be taken in when a politician is caught lying badly. Part of that pleasure lies in observing the visible strain a man pretending to understand the gravity of a transgression he obviously does not think is very serious (see, for example: Anthony Weiner.) But the best part is watching him lamely attempt to equivocate his way out of a scandal. It never works. It almost always makes things worse. But strung together, the rhetorical hedging can start to sound sort of…poetic.
Probably in one of my drunken stupors
I went hiking on the Appalachian Trail, and
I was hacked.
I don’t want to say with certitude to you
Something that I don’t know to be the certain truth.
I don’t know what photographs
are out there in the world of me.
It depends on what the meaning of the word “is” is.
But I can assure people,
It doesn’t happen again.