An Ode To Scandal

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Nov. 7, 2013, 10:13 a.m.

Rob Ford is a good re­mind­er that, while it’s al­ways bad for a politi­cian to lie to the pub­lic, there is great pleas­ure to be taken in when a politi­cian is caught ly­ing badly. Part of that pleas­ure lies in ob­serving the vis­ible strain a man pre­tend­ing to un­der­stand the grav­ity of a trans­gres­sion he ob­vi­ously does not think is very ser­i­ous (see, for ex­ample: An­thony Wein­er.) But the best part is watch­ing him lamely at­tempt to equi­voc­ate his way out of a scan­dal. It nev­er works. It al­most al­ways makes things worse. But strung to­geth­er, the rhet­or­ic­al hedging can start to sound sort of…po­et­ic.

Prob­ably in one of my drunk­en stupors
I went hik­ing on the Ap­palachi­an Trail, and
I was hacked.

I don’t want to say with cer­ti­tude to you
Something that I don’t know to be the cer­tain truth.
I don’t know what pho­to­graphs
are out there in the world of me.

It de­pends on what the mean­ing of the word “is” is.

But I can as­sure people,
hope­fully
It doesn’t hap­pen again.

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