What do Adolph Hitler, Edward Snowden, and extraterrestrials have in common?
Who knows. But FARS is a semi-official news agency of the Iranian government, reportedly affiliated with the Revolutionary Guards, which suggests that someone in Tehran thinks this new report alleging that Washington is secretly run by a malevolent race of extraterrestrials known as "Tall Whites" — who also, by the way, engineered Hitler's rise to power — will boost their country's geopolitical posture vis a vis the United States.
The FARS report, which is almost entirely plagiarized word-for-word from a crackpot conspiracy blog that claims to be the "World's Largest English Language News Services," brings the astonishing revelation that a Russian security-agency report on documents leaked by Edward Snowden provides "'incontrovertible proof' that an "alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda" is driving U.S. domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since at least 1945."
I can't find any other news reports about this allegedly totally real Russian FSB report on Snowden, and one assumes there would at least be some coverage of arguably the biggest reveal of the century. Snowden says he brought no secret documents to Russia, where he is currently living.
Glenn Greenwald, the journalist who broke the Snowden story and has spent more time poring over his documents than perhaps anyone else on this planet, splashed cold water on the FARS report, responding sarcastically:
@aseitzwald It was the story I was working on next. I was scooped and I'm not happy about it. #AlienHitlerLink
— Glenn Greenwald (@ggreenwald) January 13, 2014
The report leans heavily on a Russian television interview with former Canadian Defense Minister Paul Hellyer, who has made a name for himself in recent years by claiming that there are 80 different species of aliens who walk among us and for warning that George W. Bush was going to "get us into an intergalactic war" with some of those species by building a moon base.
FARS has also recently reported that a 27-year-old Iranian man invented a time machine and, on the eve of the 2012 election, that most white rural voters in America would rather vote for then-Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than Barack Obama. That latter story came from The Onion.
But at least those bogus stories made some sense for a semi-propaganda outfit — they make Iran look good. Why FARS thinks it can help Tehran win the cold war with Washington with such a patently absurd story is beyond us.
One shot in the dark: Iran and international powers just finalized a nuclear deal, which will go into effect later this month. At least this gets people talking about something else.
The truth may be out there, but it's not here.