By Jack Fitzpatrick (@jackfitzdc)
TODAY IN ONE PARAGRAPH: California Democrat Henry Waxman is the latest Nancy Pelosi ally to announce his retirement. The Justice Department is pushing for the death penalty for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the accused Boston Marathon bomber. Ukraine's president has taken a sick leave in the middle of a political crisis. Utah Republican Jason Chaffetz is the latest lawmaker who wants to revoke the NFL's tax-exempt status. Washington's famous snowy owl was hit by a bus. And "Cronut" is now a trademarked name for the doughnut-croissant combo.
HENRY WAXMAN WILL RETIRE AT THE END OF THE SESSION: The California Democrat and a prolific legislator will retire after 40 years in Congress. "After 40 years in Congress, it's time for someone else to have the chance to make his or her mark, ideally someone who is young enough to make the long-term commitment that's required for real legislative success," Waxman said. (Izadi/Mimms, NJ)
WILL PELOSI BE NEXT? Waxman is the latest of several Pelosi allies to retire, and her top in-house strategist left in July. And Pelosi's slim chances of getting back the Speaker's gavel in 2014 could lead her to consider retirement. (Josh Kraushaar, NJ)
JUSTICE DEPARTMENT WANTS DEATH PENALTY FOR TSARNAEV: The accused Boston Marathon bomber will make for the highest-profile death-penalty case since Timothy McVeigh's in 1995. (Matt Apuzzo, NYT)
UKRAINE PRESIDENT GOES ON SICK LEAVE DURING POLITICAL CRISIS: Viktor Yanukovich went on sick leave Thursday as the country faces possible bankruptcy and anti-government protests continue. After his office announced he had a high temperature and a respiratory problem, Yanukovich defended his record in a presidential statement, saying the protests were largely due to oppositions leaders' political ambitions. (Balmforth/Polityuk, Reuters)
9 QUESTIONS YOU WERE EMBARRASSED TO ASK ABOUT THE UKRAINE PROTESTS: First, it's "Ukraine," not "the Ukraine." Now, why are so many people protesting? (Max Fischer, WaPo)
WASHINGTON'S SNOWY OWL HIT BY BUS: The snowy owl that drew a crowd of spectators at The Washington Post building in downtown Washington was hit by a bus and was treated for a head injury at the National Zoo. The bird appeared dazed in a video the zoo provided. (Michael Ruane, WaPo)
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TOMORROW IN ONE PARAGRAPH: Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius will speak about Affordable Care Act enrollment at 10:15 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. Energy Secretary Ernest Moniz will speak about the president's State of the Union address and on STEM education at 1 p.m. in Hampton, Va. The House and Senate are in session.
Join National Journal on Thursday, Feb. 6 for "Dialing In on the IP Transition" Policy Summit underwritten by Neustar. The Newseum, 3rd Floor Broadcast Studio, 8:00 am - 10:30 am. RSVP @ http://njiptransition.eventbrite.com/ .
JASON CHAFFETZ WANTS THE NFL TO PAY TAXES: The Utah Republican introduced a bill that would strip the NFL of its tax-exempt status. The bill would define any sports league with revenues over $10 million as a taxable entity. The NFL's annual revenues are around $9 billion, and Commissioner Roger Goodell earns about $30 million per year. (Pete Kasperowicz, The Hill)
"CRONUT" IS NOW TRADEMARKED: The inventor of the doughnut-croissant hybrid trademarked the name, so get used to hearing alternatives like "Doissants" and "Crodoughs." (Matt Phillips, Quartz)
STOP DESCRIBING OFFICE PARKS AS "NONDESCRIPT": The New York Times has used the word to describe offices of universities, modeling agencies, a brewery, and dozens of other organizations. Now pick a different word. (Tim Murphy, MoJo)
THE EIGHT STRANGEST MEME-INSPIRED CURRENCIES: Because of the open-source nature of bitcoin, anyone can create his own alternative versions, like Nyancoin and Coinye West. NOTE: Contains profanity and scatalogical references. (Laura Hudson, Wired)
LEARNING FRENCH IS IN; THE FRENCH ARE PLEASED: New York schools are teaching French to a surprising number of students, largely thanks to the efforts of the French government. (Kirk Semple, NYT)
HOW WILL THE FCC REGULATE THE PHONES OF THE FUTURE? Phone calls will someday be made over high-speed Internet, and the FCC is trying to adapt. (Brendan Sasso, NJ)
LAST NIGHT'S LATE-NIGHT FUNNIES IN UNDER 3 MINUTES: Jon Stewart takes on the chorus of State of the Union responses, and Joe Biden is caught on camera being Joe Biden. (Reena Flores, NJ)
FIVE GRAPHS ON WHAT MADE THE ECONOMY GROW IN 2013: Americans bought a lot of stuff last year, but government spending cuts were a drag. (Fernholz/Yanofsky, Quartz)