HUMOR

Voice Votes: Democratic Convention Edition

Updated: September 7, 2012 | 4:07 p.m.
September 7, 2012 | 4:00 p.m.
Ralf-Finn Hestoft

Actor Kal Penn speaks to delegates at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, NC.

Welcome to this week’s Voice Votes, a feature in which we grade the week’s headlines—and poke fun at them. You can join the fun by suggesting your own #win, #fail, and #meh candidates via Twitter. (Send tweets @nationaljournal). Need more space? E-mail suggestions to Readers@nationaljournal.com or leave us a comment on Facebook. We’ll publish the best suggestions in this space every week and credit the authors.

Here’s how we vote this week:

#Fail on Anthony Villagairosa’s strong-arming the reinsertion of the words “God” and “Jerusalem” into the Democratic Party platform by decreeing that two-thirds of the convention delegates supported it — despite apparently equal support and opposition for the measure through three voice votes. Ignoring a vote seems a little, well, undemocratic.

#Meh on President Obama's acceptance speech, in which he told Americans, "The election four years ago wasn’t about me.  It was about you. ... You’re the reason there’s a little girl with a heart disorder in Phoenix who’ll get the surgery she needs because an insurance company can’t limit her coverage." Or, as Rush Limbaugh will cut the clip, "You’re the reason there’s a little girl with a heart disorder in Phoenix."

#Fail on the decision by Democrats, facing the prospect of empty seats at Bank of America Stadium, to move Obama’s acceptance speech to the smaller Time Warner Cable Arena, citing weather concerns. If you needed someone to talk at empty chairs, you should have mentioned it. We know a guy.

#Fail on the insistence by Kal Penn, star of the stoner-movie franchise Harold & Kumar, that Obama was not seeing an enthusiasm gap. "The crowds that we had in 2007 and 2008, both in the primary and in the general election, are the exact same crowds I'm seeing now," Penn said in his convention address Wednesday, immediately prompting concerns that he was high.

#Win on the relegation of Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker to a pre-prime-time speaking role on Tuesday. The Obama campaign has reduced Booker’s role as a surrogate ever since he denounced attacks on Bain Capital and private equity as “nauseating,” and it’s widely speculated this hurt his placement at the convention. We can see the Priorities USA Action ad now: “Cory Booker, the latest victim of Bain Capital.”

#Meh on Bill Clinton’s assertion on Wednesday night that “Democracy does not have to be a blood sport.” Aaron Burr and Dick Cheney beg to differ.

#Meh on Rep. Barney Frank's multiple mentions of "Myth Romney" during his address on Thursday. As it turns out, Myth Romney is an invention of Frank's imagination, not, as was first supposed, Tagg's long-lost twin.

#Win on the overwhelming verdict of National Journal’s Convention Insiders Poll that an Obama win will make Hillary Clinton the 2016 Democratic front-runner, but #Fail on the transformation of Charlotte into a mini-police state for convention week. Clinton, for her part, is abroad on a diplomatic tour that will take her to Moscow and Beijing, where she can feel more free.

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