On Tuesday night, the presidential debates begin anew. After Mitt Romney's trouncing of Barack Obama at the first debate in Colorado, the two candidates will come to Hofstra University in Long Island, N.Y., for another round. It's like Rocky II, just with less "ADRIAAAN" and more "cuts to the domestic discretionary budget."
But if near-drunken hollering is your thing, we've got just the drinking game for you. Check below for our rules for the first and only town-hall debate between Obama and Romney. And stay safe out there.
1 Drink Events
- Romney cites the "six studies" that have signed off on his tax plan.
- Unlike the last time around, Obama says the number 47.
- A question is asked about marriage equality or gay rights.
- The audience boos either candidate.
- Either candidate praises a member of the other party.
- A questioner asks about the Obama administration's response to the attack in Libya.
- Obama brings up the Massachusetts health care law.
- Anybody says the word "Bain." Take an extra drink or two if it sounds a bit more like "Bane."
- Housing or Fed policy is discussed by either candidate.
- Stimulus-funded "green jobs" and windmills supposedly made in China are derided by Romney.
- Either candidate accuses the other of making Medicare unsustainable for people under age 55.
- Either candidate directly panders to the hometown of a questioner.
- Obama accuses Romney of changing his policies mid-debate.
- Either candidate hassles the moderator over how much time they've been given to speak.
2 Drink Events
- Anyone says "malarkey."
- An actual unemployed person gets to ask either candidate a question.
- Big Bird is mentioned in a question.
- The camera pans to a woman or member of an ethnic group that a candidate is currently pandering to.
- A question is asked about immigration policy at a presidential debate.
- Taking the lead from Vice President Joe Biden, Obama actually defends the stimulus.
- A questioner starts crying, mid-question.
- As is his habit, Romney attempts to guess the age and ethnicity of a questioner.
- Several minutes into a question, an audience member has to be reminded to ask a question, not make a statement.
- Obama channels Biden and laughs through a response from Romney.
- A questioner asks the candidates about unmanned drone policy.
- Moderator Candy Crowley cuts off a questioner to ask her own, vaguely related, question.
- A questioner asks either candidate about the euro crisis.
3 Drink, Red Alarm Events
- Obama visibly falls asleep at his podium.
- To keep from falling asleep, Obama appears on stage with a nicotine patch stapled to his forehead.
- Romney leaves the stage half way through the debate, figuring he may as well go out on top.
- Obama sends in Biden to debate Romney in his place.
- To level the playing field, Romney sings the answer to an audience question on the economy.
- Obama congratulates his fellow Nobel Peace Prize winners: everyone living within the European Union.