All good things must come to an end. As do all election cycles, thankfully. On Monday night, President Obama will meet Republican challenger Mitt Romney at South Florida's Lynn University for the third and final presidential debate of the season. The focus this time around is foreign policy.
Don't know much about foreign policy? Then let our final debate drinking game serve as your tour guide through what is sure to be a 90-minute debate. So settle down with your favorite imported beer or Cold War vodka or eurocrisis ouzo and soak in the last presidential debate of 2012.
1 Drink Events
- President Obama says "Osama bin Laden" (five-drink limit, for your health).
- Either candidate complains to the moderator about not receiving enough time.
- China's Foxconn or the Apple products it produces comes up.
- Either candidate calls something the "greatest threat" facing the U.S.
- Obama mentions ending the war in Iraq.
- Either candidate says "Palestine" or "two-state solution."
- Either candidate accuses China of being a currency manipulator.
2 Drink Events
- Mitt Romney either calls, or is questioned about, previously labeling Russia America's "greatest geopolitical foe."
- Either candidate says "free trade."
- A question is asked about drone policy.
- Either candidate says the phrase "red line" in reference to Iran.
- Anyone incorrectly pronounces Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Ayatollah Khamenei.
- Either candidate refers to America's "special relationship" with another country.
- Either candidate puts on an overacted accent when pronouncing a non-English word or name.
- A question is asked about the eurocrisis.
- Romney references the time he spent living in France.
- Either candidate accuses China of violating human rights.
- Either candidate says "sequester."
- There is any discussion of China's impending leadership transition.
- Either candidate brings up the Tunisan fruit vendor who sparked the Arab Spring.
- Romney offers to transmit something to Vladimir.
- As this is the foreign-policy debate, the U.S.'s role in Afghanistan is discussed in depth.
- Anyone says the word "Canada."
3 Drink, Red Alarm Events
- Either candidate brings up his policy toward Uz-beki-beki-stan-stan.
- Anyone refers to a nation that hasn't existed since the end of the Cold War.
- Obama reveals that Fidel Castro has been dead the whole time.
- Romney one-ups Obama's kill list with his binders full of terrorists.
- Either candidate mixes up his Koreas.
- Romney reminds everyone of how terrible those British Olympics were.
- Either candidate makes the case as to why Bibi Netanyahu personally likes him better than his opponent.
- Obama says the word "Romneyshambles."
- Romney fact-checks moderator Bob Schieffer on Libya.
- Obama accidentally says "Obama bin Laden."
- Either candidate launches a spitball at the other candidate from across the stage.
- A candidate or moderator decides to just change the channel to Monday Night Football.
Most important, at the completion of the debate, toast yourself. You made it! See you in four years.