From The Hotline Latest Edition for Thursday, April 17,2008

CHENEY

Apparently Headed For Vegas When The VP Gig Is Up

Thu. Apr. 17, 2008


"Hannity & Colmes" cut live to the Radio and TV Corr.'s dinner last night during VP Cheney's appearance:

Cheney: "Obviously, you're not the kind to look down on a 'bitter' man who clings to his guns. And I was just as surprised as you were to see Governor Mitt Romney. And though I enjoyed his props and slides, I won't be needing any myself. I'm counting, as usual, on the power of my charm and charisma."

On Pope Benedict XVI's visit: "I myself met with His Holiness this morning at the White House. So between that and this dinner with the media, it's been quite a day for me. I spent the morning with one infallible authority, and now I get to spend the evening with a thousand of them. I was glad to talk to the pope. It's rare that I run into somebody who's heard more secrets than I have."

On Al Gore: "He's a little bit sore at me. He's convinced that, on global warming, I just don't get it. But lately with every passing day, the evidence has been catching my attention. I have no doubt, none at all, that we are in the midst of a global warming, or as I prefer to call it, spring. And I don't want to sound like an alarmist, but it's going to get a lot warmer before it gets cooler. But I want you to know I'm doing my part to meet the crisis by reducing my carbon footprint big-time. Every time I'm rushed to the hospital, I insist on a hybrid ambulance."

On the media: "I'm very glad to be here tonight, in the president's usual place, and it's good to share the stage with so many dignitaries, including Majority Leader Hoyer, Minority Leader McConnell, Chairman Dingell, Minority Whip Kyl, and that great TV personality and blogger, Mo Rocca. ... Mo used to host a TV show called 'Things I Hate About You.' I'm sure I've seen that program. Only I believe it's now called 'Countdown with Keith Olbermann.'"

On WH '08: "I'm old news in this election, but I want a piece of the action. I'm fired up for my own candidate, but the feeling isn't always returned. I feel kind of like Bill Clinton. ... I really want John McCain to win. I'm proud to support John, even though one of the Democrats running is a relative of mine. He's Senator Obama to you, but he's cousin Barack to me. Amazingly enough, it turns out that Barack is also related to Brad Pitt. That means Dick Cheney and Brad Pitt are related, which explains what Angelina sees in that guy."

More: "You in the press need to go easy on Senator Clinton on the whole business about running and ducking from gunfire in Bosnia. She made an honest mistake. She confused the Bosnia trip with the time I took her hunting. Did you see that footage of Hillary knocking back that shot with a beer chaser? People say she did it like an old pro. I hadn't realized she'd been in the Senate that long. Looks like she replaced Mark Penn with Johnny Walker. ... Maybe I've sympathetic to Hillary because I've had my own troubles. The big buzz last week was about that picture of me fishing. In the reflection in my sunglasses, it looked like I'd reeled in something a lot more interesting than trout. ... The most common question is: what lure was I using? Anyway, that's the last time I'll go with an outfitter called the Emperors Club VIP" (FNC, 4/16).