Deer In The Headlights: Flipping Through Levi Johnston's Book
Levi Johnston doesn't pull any punches in his new book, "Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs" (Touchstone Books), which was released Tuesday. Though he's no Joe McGinniss, Johnston's book doesn't offer particularly flattering depictions of Sarah Palin and her daughter, Bristol Palin, as it includes descriptions of S. Palin's temper tantrums following her 2008 loss ("She said (Pres.) Obama cheated to win. She talked as if they were they only two running. ... Sarah and Barack, in hand-to-hand combat") and B. Palin's desire to have a baby after she found out her mother was pregnant.
Johnston even compares his relationship with S. Palin and her daughter, to "The Graduate" (Guess who plays Benjamin?). But the true genius of the book is Johnston's ability to capture his own failings, in a way only a teen-father/wanna-be-celebrity can.
The Hotline relied on the time-honored practice of using the "excerpt lottery," in which page numbers are chosen based upon recent winning lottery numbers from various states. Also check out our recent account of Christine O'Donnell's book, using the same method. The results:
"I was John Wayne who had just ridden in to the rescue the pretty lady in distress. Sarah could have been the one in labor. She looked a mess, hair stuck to her forehead, glasses askew. A little like the librarian who just let down her hair.
"Poor Bristol was twisting and turning, throwing her body side to side. ... Oh my God. My babe was in serious pain" -- p. 139 (Va.'s "Daily 3," 9/19).
"Sarah was in her own room; Todd was in his garage. Maybe. No one usually had any idea where Todd was. ... Bristol dragged me up the carpet of the L-shaped staircase, closed her bedroom door behind us."
"I'd spent hours there holding her in my arms, running my fingers through her hair. I loved her hair. I loved every inch of her. I was about to make this statement with my hands when Bristol laid her hand over mine. It felt like a cold salmon. ... My parents, she told me, are having another baby. She said the word parents with air quotes."
"I never -- and I mean never -- saw Sarah and Todd touch..." -- p. 071 (Texas' "Midday Pick 3," 9/19).
"Silver or gold, she knew I didn't like rings. They get caught in stuff when you're in the bush" -- p. 063 (Tenn.'s "Midday Cash 3," 9/19).
"Somewhere in Alaska there is a nest with a little silver trinket in it that says I LOVE YOU. BRISTOL" -- p. 68 (Puerto Rico's "Pega 2," 9/19).
"I saw so many of these shows that I could be a wedding planner, doing anything from divas to redneck weddings -- with the bride and groom wrestling pigs in the mud" -- p. 137 (Puerto Rico's "Pega 3," 9/19).
"We'd already exchanged gifts. The month before, she handed me a list of the s**t she wanted to have on hand as soon as she wasn't pregnant. ... I surprised her with a chocolate fountain. She loved chocolate and had been putting on too much weight..." -- p. 135 (N.Y.'s "Midday Numbers," 9/19).
"I imagined Tripp felt the tension, as two people he knew loved him stared at me like I was the swine flu virus" -- p. 171 (Mich.'s "Midday 3," 9/19).
"Sixty days later I flew into Newark, New Jersey, for Playgirl. A crowd of teenage girls was waiting for me. Me! Well, maybe half a dozen. They were off to the side and I almost missed them" -- p. 201 (Fla.'s "Midday Cash 3," 9/19).
"Bristol told Mark that I wouldn't sign over my rights to my son because it would look bad on paper."
"Now that's a really s***ty thing to say. Something her mother would come up with. She said I'd seen Tripp maybe three times, four hours each time, since Dancing with the Stars ended."
"So true. God d**n" -- p. 272 (Idaho's "Midday Pick 3," 9/19).
"Bristol wasn't there, in mind or spirit. She and her huge tum-tum were napping upstairs in our bedroom" -- p. 134 (Del.'s "Play 3," 9/19).
"I had about a dozen voice mails. S**t. ... Get back right away! She screamed into the phone. They chose Sarah! She's been picked by McCain! Holy Christ. ... Sarah told the world that her being chosen was God's plan. It would be the first time I had ever heard her mention the fella. Whether the message originated from heaven or from Arizona, the content was the same" -- p. 092 (Ariz.'s "Pick 3," 9/19).
"Her doe eyes looked right into me. In that moment I swore I'd never shoot another deer" (Texas' "Pick 3 Midday," 9/9).