2012 Decoded

You have to feel sorry for Mitt Romney after a point. He can't even get arrested like a regular guy.

Turns out he has a rap sheet for disorderly conduct, and for your average Joe, that would mean throwing a punch in a bar, overdoing it on New Year's Eve and takin' it to the streets, or (and possibly and) getting smart with the cop who insists you were doing 50 in a 30.

None of the above for Romney. In a long-ago episode resurrected this week by the website BuzzFeed, Romney was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct in 1981 for putting his pleasure boat in the water at Lake Cochituate in Massachusetts. The crime unfolded after a park ranger told Romney to cease and desist because his boating license was not properly visible. Romney later told the Boston Globe that he felt that the license was sufficiently visible and that it was worth it to him to be fined $50 in order to enjoy the day on the lake with his family.

Romney defied the order, launched his boat, and a very ticked-off ranger reappeared and arrested him for disorderly conduct. Romney was handcuffed, taken to the Natick police station and charged. A magistrate let him go without bail. Most of us experience road rage; Romney has float rage.

 "There I was, dripping wet in a bathing suit," he told the Globe when the newspaper first reported the episode during his failed 1994 Senate race, providing a mental image it will take us years to erase.

Perhaps the lesson here is, a future Senate candidate, governor and presidential contender ought to have thought about setting a better example for the locals if not for his five kids with him that day. And if eventually he wants to win over blue-collar male voters, as Romney desperately needs to do in 2012, he ought to try establishing his bona fides in a biker bar.